Just like any profession, we have heard our fair share of software jokes. In fact, we have several in development right now.
What happens when bees write software?
A software tester walks into a bar and orders: -1 beers, NULL beers, 9999999 beers, asdjfuio beers, and a turtle. The bartender fills the orders he can and tells the tester which orders he cannot fill.
A real user walks into the bar and asks to use the bathroom. The bar explodes.
I have a software development joke. It will be ready next week. Honest.
Have you ever run across people who are like a software update? And when you see them you think, "not now".
A mechanic, an electrician, and a software developer were driving in a car. The car stops working.
The mechanic says, "It must be a problem with the motor."
The electrician says, "It must be a problem with the ignition."
The software developer sits a while, and finally says, "Maybe we just need to get out and come back in?"
How do software engineers eat their food?
In large bytes.
How many software developers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. That's a hardware issue.
Alternate answer: You are not working in agile methodology. Try asking the scrum master to call the janitor.
All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors.
A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it's not that good.
A software developer walks into a bar and lights up a cigarette.
The bartender looks up, aggravated, and says "Don't you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is bad for your health!"
The software developer replies, "I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."